Reflections after reading: So You Want To Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

My intention is to share my journey to become anti-racist and to document where I am now, and my efforts to continue improving. 

• "So many words used to discuss a single topic without actually getting to the core truths of it." (p. xi)

• "...released in a tweet or a Facebook post and then immediately discarded..." (p. xi)

This struck a chord with me. So many times, the conversations about racism and inequality are started but quickly die in an online post. I want to have conversations about race that are meaningful and lead to change.

• "...even since preschool my teachers are more likely to see my childhood antics as violence and aggression..." (p. 10)

This really hit me hard as a teacher. I will be reflecting on how I view student behavior and checking for my own biases. 

• "How do you change and education system tailored almost exclusively to the experiences, history, and goals of white families..." (p. 31)

This is a call to action for me. As a teacher, I will be working this summer to improve the perspectives included in my teaching. I will also be looking for ways to better understand and meet the goals of families of all races.

• Intention doesn't matter

This is one of my biggest takeaways from this book. So often when I mediate a conflict between students intention plays a big part in the conversation. A common way of thinking is that the hurt someone feels will be decreased by understanding that there was no intention to harm. I realize now that that this doesn't matter as much as I previously thought. When I cause microaggressions or hurt others the hurt is still there. Whether I intended it or not, the hurt is there and I need to apologize and do better. 

• "Tying racism to its systemic causes and effects will help others see the important difference between systemic racism, and anti-white bigotry." (p. 35)

This will be difficult and I hope to master this skill. I think that doing it will be very helpful in understanding the multitude of ways that racism is woven into society.

• "...obligatory speeches that all parents of black children must give..." (p. 37)

As a white woman, this was something that I needed to be reminded of. I had not thought of the different ways that parents of my students might have instructed their children. I need to be aware that my students come to school with diverse life experiences that create their perspectives. 

• "When my son's school only has parent-teacher conferences during school hours , they are making race an issue by ignoring the fact that black and Latinx parents are more likely to work the type of hourly jobs that would cause them to lose much-needed pay, or even risk losing their employment altogether, in order to stay involved in their child's education." (p. 44)

This is something that I struggle with as a teacher. It makes sense, but I feel frustrated that teachers are working so hard all day and are not supported by the administration to provide time out of school hours. I'd love it if we got a day off work to make up for the extra time we could put towards meeting families our of our work day. It feels like something that needs to be faced structurally instead of another thing that comes down to teachers doing for free.

• "And if you are white, and you don't want to feel any of that pain by having these conversations, then you are asking people of color to continue to bear the entire burden of racism alone." (p. 51)

I really took this to heart and "checked my privilege" by realizing that I have the luxury to not think about this topic. I want to continue to lean into these conversations and I plan to work on ways I can keep this active in my mind and in my actions.

• "cisgender": the gender identity of a person matches the sex that person was identified as birth

I didn't know what this word meant and so I wanted to include it and the definition here in case you didn't know either. Realizing what I don't know is an important step to learning and growing. 

 

• Some of my privileges: 

Good mental health, middle-class, white, non-disabled, neurotypical, cisgender, stable home environment, stable housing, reliable transportation, straight, conventionally attractive, private education, college-educated, graduate school-educated, loans approved, hired for jobs, no microaggressions based on race, and more I'm sure!

• "...thinking about how this privilege might have influenced not only your status in society, but your experience with and understanding the world at large." (p. 66)

Looking at the list above there are so many ways that I've benefited in society. This has really opened my eyes to the fact that my status and successes were not all my own. There are so many other people that did not have my advantages.

• "Am I shifting some focus and power away from the most privileged in the conversation?" (p. 80)

• "Am I providing a safe space for marginalized people to speak out?" (p. 81)

• "Who gets to speak at company meeting?" (p. 82)

This is something that I can work to do in the classroom and in my everyday life! I will continue my education with these actions in mind.

• Sandra Bland

I didn't know who she was. This article will help if you don't know either.

• "Implicit bias is the beliefs that sit in the back of your brain and inform your actions without your explicit knowledge." (p. 93)

This is an area that I need to learn more about. I want to work to make sure that I confront my implicit biases so that I can work to get rid of them.

• "We need to recognize that the fear that people of color have of police is not merely rooted in feeling or culture, but in the separate and violent history that our police forces have with communities of color." (p. 97)

This was helpful to remember because as I invite professionals into the classroom to speak or participate in learning my students may have strong feelings about police officers. I need to be thoughtful in my planning.

• "Challenge the stereotyping of black and brown youth and the criminalization of black and brown youth culture." (p. 131)

This is one way that I can stand up for my students and make sure that my classroom is a welcoming place for all children. I can make sure that my expectations and celebration of students' cultures is more inclusive. 

• "...words have been used to separate, dehumanize, and oppress, and the power of those words is still felt today." (p. 139)

• "Whatever respect we could get in White America came from how closely we could get our bodies to resemble those of white people." (p. 160)

These are good reminders that concepts of professionalism or rule following can be used to promote white culture while putting down black culture. I need to also make sure that students are seeing different cultures in books and images.

• "Racial trauma is cumulative...." (p. 177) 
• "Our children see how no matter how hard they work, no matter what they accomplish, they could still be in the next viral video as they are gunned down by a cop at a traffic stop." (p. 18)
• "Our children are fighting school systems that teach from racist and colonialist narratives." (p. 186)
• "I remember trying to sleep longer so that I would have less time awake to feel hungry." (p. 189)
• "I had friends who never asked where your mom was because we all knew our moms were working." (p. 190)

Ijeoma Oluo really gave powerful explanations that helped me understand this. Understanding that students come to me with their cumulative trauma was a powerful "aha" moment. Their reactions to what looks to me like a small thing, isn't a small thing considering all the other traumas they have experienced. I need to work to consider this when helping to support my students.

• "We saw how much less our teachers expected from us." (p. 190)

I found this a reminder to make sure that I have high expectations for all my students.

• "Martin/Malcolm" (p. 202)

This comparison discussed in the book really made sense and I realized that I have so much learning to do. I really don't know much about Malcolm. I am on the hunt for a good book about him and plan to work hard to learn more about both men.

• "When you instead shift your focus to getting people of color to fight oppression in a way in which you approve, racial justice is no longer you main goal-your approval is." (p. 208)

• "You are not owed gratitude or friendship from people of color for your efforts." (p. 210)

• "But if you live in this system of White Supremacy you are either fighting  the system, or you are complicit." (p. 211)

• "In order to do better we must be willing to hold our darkness to the light, we must be willing to shatter our own veneer of 'goodness'." (p. 220)

These quotes are so powerful. As I continue my education it is important to remember these ideas!

• "Remember that you do not have all the pieces." (p. 221)

This is hard but necessary. 

• "...we all pull levers of this white supremacist system, every day." (p. 234)

I will work to continue to become someone actively working to dismantle the racist system.